Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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