I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
