Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
