He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
