At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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