Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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