Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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