Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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