if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
