the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
