i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
