i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
