I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
