I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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