I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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