yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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