When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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