Screwed.edu
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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