TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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