Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
