"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
