Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize