Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
17 year olds will be the death of me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
