I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
