I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
