So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
