In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
