Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
