An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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