It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
