I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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