How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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