i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
