I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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