I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
why does every cop we meet know your name?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
