i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
