Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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