Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
