That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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