I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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