I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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