I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
