I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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