My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
