Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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