Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
