and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
