is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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