it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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