# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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