she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
