I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
