just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
