All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
