I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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