i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
