im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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