This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
