the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
