he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
