We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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